So, my son Jude graduated from Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida a year ago today (5/19/24). He majored in computer programming degree and alas, the job market in that field began to slow, even before the orange scourge. So, he came home, sent out applications, worked at McKay’s, played his guitar, hung out with his girlfriend Ash and then come fall, found a placement firm that provides some extra training and helps the applicant land a gig. Even this is competitive, but he persevered, succeeded and this March, was hired. Needless to say, I was proud of him for hanging in there and seeing it through, but I admit I was a bit sad that they placed him in Dallas. This wasn’t his first choice, nor his girlfriend’s, nor mine, for a myriad of reasons, but it’s still a win, an opportunity and as I say to him, an adventure. They didn’t have much notice, so his mom and I hooked them up with an air b an b for the short term and after they found an apartment, I drove down a couple weeks later with a cargo van of their stuff.
I told him the van it reminded me of the ol’ Bucket Number Six days, although ours was brown and we nicknamed it “Cal-Van the Tin Can”. I told him he should buy one for the band he will start in Dallas. Then, he sent me the Loded Diaper cartoon from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. We kibbutz a lot like this. Anyway I used to make the Nashville-Austin drive a fair amound, re; SXSW, but this time, just getting to Dallas was brutal, but I’m older than I used to be (aren’t we all) and the weather was nasty. After eleven hours behind the wheel, I got there and we hauled stuff up the three flights to their apartment; the next morning I took them out to eat, we continued the three flights routine, went to Ikea, hauled more stuff up the stairs, I took them out to eat, and then played a board game. I was glad to do it, and glad to see him. And, then I drove back to Nashville.
I can’t begin to recount all the feels I got through this process. I looked around their first apartment and thought about my first apartment and all the moves and ups and downs I’ve experienced since then. Life seems so endless at that point, time is plentiful and you have a long road of dreams ahead. And, the further down the road, the faster it goes. Their apartment was full of packages torn open, boxes to be unpacked, life to be lived, and hopes and dreams to chase. I just stood there taking it in, hoping with all my heart he will be safe, well, and happy on his long road ahead. That’s all any parent wants.
Of course, when I got back to Nashville, where most of his stuff still is, and walked around the house putting things away, I was reminded at every turn of all his phases and even more than the big adventures, the every day, the small pleasures, the kind you get in droves, as a parent – like packing a lunch or driving him to school or simply watching him at play. I savored it as it happened, but it still went all too fast. But, this is also the way life is supposed to be, and while I’m grateful for then, I’m also grateful for now, and our relationship as it is. I have to wrap it up before the water works start and I short-circuit my keyboard, but enjoy the snaps and the words, regarding the new adventures – his and mine.
Doug Hoekstra 